Title- The Protector Author- Aurora Category- V, VR Rating-: PG-13 Archive-: Wherever you like, just let me know. Spoilers- Tithonus Keywords- MSR, Scullyangst, post-colonization, character death Summary- Scully reflects upon the reasons of her unusual survival after finding herself in the path of another deadly bullet. She remembers a time when her heart was completely alive to love, even though alien colonists threaten to extinguish that love. In remembering her past, she understands why she must find a way to join the ones she has lost to Death. Disclaimer-- Chris Carter owns them and has become a very rich man from creating these wonderful characters. I'll never see any of that money, and I really wouldn't want to take it away from the Man himself. I just do it for fun! Notes and Thanks--This is my very first posted fanfic, after months of encouragement from the Neophytes. I'd like to thank Listmom Tammy for being so supportive, Julian for giving me one of his future ideas, and Bidie for being an awesome beta editor. You really transformed this little story, and I owe you my next life (this one's unfortunately spoken for). If you guys like this story, let me know and I might write a longer version. Thanks and please send feedback to AuroraVer2@aol.com. ~%~%~%~%~%~%~%~%~%~%~%~%~%~%~%~%~%~%~%~%~%~%~%~ One bloody bullet encased in a plastic evidence bag. One heart which had encased the bullet mere days ago, beating as if nothing had happened to offset the delicate balance between life and death. One life which continues to cheat its longed-for demise. I was supposed to die with him, one year ago today. I absorbed in my body the bullet which was meant for the First Consul, thinking I could save him and all hope for the human race. I wasn't prepared for the bullet from behind. He died in my arms mere minutes later, blood pouring from another bullet lodged in his cranium. I could do nothing but hold him close to me as tears poured from my eyes. If only I'd reacted in time. I could have saved him. Now, one year later, I examine yet another bullet I have taken for my new superior, and a dull throb begins to surface in my brain as I contemplate the future of my own existence. The new First Consul hasn't a chance of saving us from the alien colonists, and the people know it. I can't begin to count how many attempts have been made on the Consul's life since his appointment to office last year. More attempts than even his predecessor ever encountered. His predecessor, however, was an expert at negotiation, a consummate skill my current superior has shamefully lacked. Yet it is my job to protect him. As it was the man before him. The doctors call it a miracle, how my wounds seem to heal within a matter of days. They marvel on how young I've remained over the course of twenty years and have sought desperately to find any technology, any genetic material capable of generating such a response in another human being. I have no answers by which to aid them. I've tried to die for the past year, hoping that just once a bullet would find its way into my body and never leave. I've prayed that somehow I would never wake from the anesthesia given me in surgery. I've even removed the implant in my neck in the hopes of reviving that nasopharyngeal tumor, to no avail. My body is as stubborn toward death as I am toward love. Yet both are buried six feet under some small little gravestone in Arlington Cemetery, never to return to me. Mulder. My beloved Mulder. He'd chosen to be buried there, in the manner befitting his position. There were no family members to mourn his passing; all had gone to prepare the way for his spirit. Yet, in a sense, the whole planet had become his family. They had honored and admired him for his courage and foresight -- of stalling the aliens' plans for human extermination. Colonization had become inevitable, but through his efforts, Mulder had made human extermination difficult for the colonists. Through Mulder they had seen the soul of a human being, after having learned all they could of its mortal shell in countless abductions and gruesome experiments. They'd been fascinated, intrigued by this foreign manner of expression, of interaction, and had desired to know more about our species before driving us to extinction. First Consul Fox Mulder had become the voice of the human race, the mediator between the aliens and every single life still fighting for survival on this planet. And my God, did I love him. Every day I stood beside him, protecting him from wayward bullets and other deadly weapons aimed at him with murderous intent. Every meal was prepared under my supervision. Every evening was spent performing a complete analysis of his vital signs before he drew me into his arms and made earth-shattering love to me. I was his guardian, protector, friend, and beloved, his salvation, as he often called me. His salvation in a troubled and uncertain future. "We could die tomorrow," he would often say, "so I'm taking all of you tonight." And he took me, every night, everywhere and in every way imaginable. My body shudders to even remember the nights of unrestrained, unbridled passion, wondering if it might be the last we'd spend together, wondering if the colonists would change their mind and wipe us all from the face of the planet while we peacefully slept in our beds. Mulder always assured me of my safety, that as long as I was with him, no harm would ever come to me. The protected had become the protector, somewhere in those fifteen years of wondrous love. The line had been blurred so indiscriminately over those years that we'd forgotten whose job it was to protect whom. So we'd protected each other. Fifteen years after the alien invasion, First Consul Fox Mulder was still negotiating a treaty -- "The Treaty" as it was so dubbed by the entire world -- by which the colonists would spare the lives of every living human being. Thanks to Gibson Praise, who was now fully grown and an invaluable ally to Mulder, the colonists had agreed to sign over governorship of the earth to the former wunderkind and the First Consul. The colonists' directions had been clear: Gibson and Mulder would govern the earth as the colonists saw fit, maintaining close communication with each other as the colonists sought alternative planets for colonization. If, in fact, a suitable domain was found, ownership of Earth would be relinquished entirely to the human race. If the colonists' efforts proved futile, all human beings would have no choice but to relinquish their lives to the imminent tragedy of extermination. For the first time in fifteen years, Mulder had gone to bed an incredibly happy man. He'd made love to me with such tenderness that I could not control the tears of pleasure falling from my eyes. And finally, after our desires were satiated and we succumbed to the abyss of repose, he had whispered the three words I'd ached to hear for an eternity. "I love you." His hair was thin and gray, his voice fatigued from the years spent in countless negotiations, and worried wrinkles adorned every inch of that once-youthful face, but I loved him. I loved him more in that instant than I'd ever loved him before, even more than in our earlier days of blissful ignorance to all that was happening above us in the sky. I remember his next words, more clearly than any other words he'd ever spoken to me: "When this is all over, and The Treaty is signed, I want you to marry me." A shudder runs through my body. "Marry me, Scully." Familiar tears cloud my eyes as I remember how I'd cried that night, how I'd sobbed through my acceptance of his proposal, and how we'd made love another time before falling into the most peaceful sleep we'd ever known. My life had become complete. The next morning, we'd made love again before readying ourselves for another day of negotiations. It was the last time I would ever know the pleasure of being one with Mulder. Later that day, as we made the long walk from the car to the alien craft, I heard a gunshot and, by sheer instinct, immediately moved in front of Mulder to protect him. The bullet lodged itself directly in my heart. I remained standing, spread-eagled against my lover's torso, yelling for help from the nearby soldiers controlling the crowds. I don't know how I managed to stand for so long; I can only assume my love for Mulder kept me conscious and mobile throughout the ordeal. Mulder was yelling, begging for help, his eyes wide as he watched the blood drain from my body. He tried to staunch the flow of blood with his fingertips in an effort to save me when it was not his job nor his place to be saving my life. And then I heard the final shot, and the sickening sound of metal entering flesh and bone. Mulder collapsed against me, sending us both onto the ground, and I took only a fraction of second to get my bearings before rolling him beneath me to locate the point of entry. Dear God... The bullet had found its resting place in his skull, deeply rooted in what the autopsy would reveal to be the right frontal lobe of his brain. Mulder had mere seconds to live. I clutched him close to me, sobbing in anguish as I felt the lifeforce of my love ebb from the body which had given me such joy, such unspeakable pleasure. Don't go, Mulder...please don't leave me... The soldiers had surrounded us by then, attempting to pull him away. But I resisted. I knew it was only a matter of moments before I would lose everything I'd learned to depend upon for the last fifteen years, my rock, the source of my strength. I ordered the soldiers away. "I love you," I told him, cradling his aging face in my hands. "I won't let you die alone!" I remember his kind words of compassion, barely uttered through his mouth, but filled with love and tenderness. "You have to keep going, Scully. For me. For us and for the whole damn human race. You have to continue my work." I couldn't continue his work, not with a bullet in my chest. "I won't let you die alone," I remember saying to him in his final moments, pointing to my own horrid wound. "I'll join you very soon." I remember a sardonic grin spreading across that still full mouth. Even in the face of death, he was still my Mulder. "You won't die," he whispered to me, taking a ragged breath. "Someone---already died for you---" I thought Mulder had found religion in his last few moments. It was only later until I realized what he'd meant by those words. "Alfred Fellig...Case Number 50-0026...." Suddenly I feel a presence nearby and shudder as a bright light begins to overtake us. His eyes widened in awe. I couldn't bear to look at him. I turned away from the light. "Love you...Scully...." And then he breathed his last against my lips as he ended his life with one final kiss. I remember holding on to him until the paramedics arrived, unwilling to let him go even after they tried to take him away by force. I just sat there, sobbing, holding and rocking him in my arms until a large arm finally was able to pry me away to attend to the gaping hole in my chest. I'd lost so much blood...and yet I was able to walk to the ambulance. I'd suffered severe myocardial damage to my heart, yet I made a complete recovery in only a week. The doctors were as amazed as I was. I was given a mandatory leave of absence for two weeks and soon found myself protecting Mulder's former assistant, a bumbling klutz of a negotiator who paled in comparison to his predecessor. From the moment he took office he threatened every clause of The Treaty with his inept and ignorant breaches of alien-human protocol. I could have shot him myself, so enraged was I with the idiot. And yet I've taken a bullet for the bastard, this time more deadly than before, and somehow remarkably managed another full recovery. While another First Consul lies in an autopsy bay. One bloody bullet encased in a plastic evidence bag. One heart, alive and well by the standards of science, but dead to everything but the memory of the idyll of love...love gained through countless years of dedication to another, and lost, so swiftly, so suddenly, by such a small, deadly object. One life which continues through the rigors of a meaningless existence, unfeeling, uncaring as to what life may bring on the morrow. I was supposed to die with him. I was cheated out of my rightful place with him. I could have died *for* him, had I known then what I remember now. And now, as I hold in my hands the remnants of the case file Mulder had led me to in his final moments, I understand what I must do to gain my rightful place among the ranks of the dead. I must find a way to die for someone else, to find that bright light again, the light that had taken my Mulder. Fellig was right about love: "You don't want to be around when it's gone." I have to find that light. I have to find a way to locate the dying, as Fellig did. I have to find Death again, to look into that light and feel the essence of my spirit drain from this mortal body. I don't know how, but I will. I will do anything to spend my eternity with Mulder and those who have gone before me. Missy's there. Mom's there, holding hands with Ahab. God, I wish I could see them right now. They're so close I can almost feel their spirits hovering near, calling me to take my seat around the family table. Death will not evade me again. Fellig taught me well. I clutch the camera I'd requested from my house and hold it tightly to the tender flesh of my chest. This lens will be my faithful guide. ~%~%~%~%~%~%~%~%~%~%~%~%~%~%~%~%~%~%~%~%~%~%