TITLE: Against Expectations AUTHORS: Andi Dawkins and Devanie Maxwell CATEGORY: SRH RATING: PG13 (Mild profanities; innuendo) KEYWORDS: Mulder/Scully Romance SUMMARY: Cafeterias, toothbrushes and attempted murder. The part of Mulder and Scully's lives we don't get to see. DISCLAIMER: Not that anyone reads these, but just in case our Fan-fic is chosen out of thousands by a FOX lawyer, we must inform you that Mulder and Scully don't belong to us. Neither do Kersh, Spender or Foul-ey, but we don't want them anyway FEEDBACK: Sure, Absolutely and God bless ya!!! :::pleading look::: We would love feedback. It makes us happy. And don't you want to make us happy? ARCHIVE: If you would like to have it, we would love to give it to you. Just let us know where it goes! Authors' notes at the end of part four. ******** Fox Mulder had never been so bored in his life. He stared blankly at his computer screen, silently willing the reports in front of him to transcribe themselves and save him the agony of devoting more thought to the mindnumbing "fertilizer" cases to which he had become so accustomed. Ever since they had lost the X Files several months earlier, he and Scully had spent their days interrogating every farmer from DC to Dallas about their manure usage. He longed for their old life. Chasing mothmen and aliens might not have been glamorous, but it had it's own mystique. Now they just did the bureau's scut work, investigating leads that any green agent in their first year could handle. He glared at the words in front of him. Yes, he was bitter. He glanced over at Scully. She sat at her desk, primly and efficently typing up their expense reports. Usually he admired her organization and expediency. Now he just immaturely stuck his tongue out at her back. Mulder couldn't understand how she could devote the same amount of energy to these dry reports as she did to their other cases. Wait. Of course he could. She was Scully. Letting out a plaintive sigh, he waited for her to acknowlege his presence. Realizing that his plea for attention went unnoticed, he tried again. Nothing. Finally he went for the pathetic groan. Bingo. "Mulder, do you need something?" Scully queried, not turning around. "Are you almost finished there?" He asked impatiently. It was nearing one in the afternoon, and the slight growl in his stomach from earlier had turned into a full fledged roar. "That all depends, Mulder. How far have you gotten with those files?" Scully shot him a glance this time, wondering what his response would be for this one. "Almost done!" He stated, almost a little too triumphantly. Before she could lean over to check his work he clicked his monitor off. "So... Lunch?" Scully gave a slight nod in acquiessence. She and her partner stood up in unison. They weaved through the sea of desks; most of the agents who usually occupied them were already at lunch or in meetings. As they moved toward the elevators they recieved a couple of glances from passing agents. Since this was certainly nothing out of the ordinary they continued on unphased. "I was thinking that due to our backlog of paperwork maybe we should eat in today." Scully said, noting the look of fleeting disdain on Mulder's face. She knew how he hated the cafeteria. The food was lacking and the company far from stimulating, but sometimes it had to be done. She was fairly sure that most of the hatred of the place stemmed from the fact that she and Mulder were thought of as the FBI's equivalent of the kids in elementary school who always got picked last in gym. She thought smugly. As they entered the elevator Mulder turned to face her. "So, any ideas as to why Kersh has requested to see us this afternoon?" Mulder questioned, pinning Scully with his eyes. "I haven't a clue. He hasn't been quite as condescending to us as he has in the past. That could be a bad thing. Do you have any thoughts?" She asked hopefully. "None." He shrugged as the elevator doors opened. They stepped out and walked down the hall toward the commisary. "I just hope he hasn't decided to put us in Janitorial Services. I was hoping for at least one more unsanctioned foray into paranormal investigation before *that* happens." Scully snorted mirthlessly as Mulder opened the door. Resting his hand on her back he guided her through the door. "Ah, Scully. Smell that leftover industrial food goodness." he smirked as they entered the line. Scully scanned the small selection of meals presented in front of her. Because everything she encountered was fried and marinating in warm grease, the salads in a box that displayed themselves at the front of the line were growing more and more appealing. One might think that the FBI would have a larger selection of remotely healthy food in their cafeteria. Then again, that would make too much sense. Mulder however, didn't notice his partner's disgust and piled up his tray despite the stark protests he gave against eating in the building. "Where's your tray, Scully? We're not having second thoughts about eating here, are we?" he gave her a sidelong glance and grabbed a cup of what Scully suspected to be banana pudding. "No, although you know as well as I do that this would be my last choice if it wasn't absolutely necessary. Except for maybe that grease-pit you took me to last week. And I'm getting a salad." "Oh. Well, you don't want a salad." Mulder casually stated. "What do you mean?" "I mean you don't want a salad." "I see. Mind informing me of what I would like? Silly me, I thought I wanted a salad." "You always eat salads; get some of that salisbury steak. The green stuff is just the special sauce." Mulder grinned, then continued his futile attempt to convince Scully that she should eat the foods he does. Scully then spotted the ever-cheerful Agent Mahoney over Mulder's shoulder. . Upon discovering Scully, Mahoney enthusiastically waved a hello over his head. God. Scully acknowledged and granted a small smile to the tall, blonde man. She then quickly looked away, fidgeting with an earring as she feigned paying attention to Mulder. In the midst of Scully's discomfort, the ever oblivious Mulder had somehow changed the subject. " . . definitely for Kersh. So what do you think, Scully?" Flustered, Scully responded, "Uh, yeah. I think so too." and hoped it was a yes or no question. "Really?!? Wow, I didn't expect you to agree with me!! This is great. So great. What made you change your mind? Not that it really matters, I'm just curious." Wondering what she had just agreed to, Scully shrugged and smiled. She'd deal with it later. After paying for their salisbury steaks and pudding, Mulder chose a nearby table. Sliding his tray onto the edge, he deftly wiped a glob of ketchup off of what he had now deemed as Scully's side of the table. After taking a moment to pride himself on his moment of chivalry, he sat down and pushed Scully's chair from under the table with his foot. "Thank you." Scully said, with no small amount of sarcasm. "Don't mention it." Conversation was sacrificed for food as they halfheartedly chewed their overdone steaks. Scully longed for the wilted salads near the register. She now understood exactly why Mulder had looked so uneasy when she had suggested eating in the cafeteria. She made a mental note to buy more yogurt and bee pollen. Mulder reached over to her tray and took a sip of her diet soda. She ignored it; devoting her attention back to the pudding. She had yet to ascertain exactly what it was, but she did detect some kind of sweetener. That had to be a good sign. Mulder grabbed her drink again. He repeated this action several more times before... "Mulder!!" Mulder just smiled innocently. He had been anticipating just such a response. " I don't mind sharing my drink with you, but why don't you just buy one for yourself?" "What, and jeopardize the newspaper I've been saving up for? Not a chance, Scully." With an exaggerated sigh, Scully trodded up to the cashier and ordered a soda for her partner. As she was trying inconspicuously to locate the health certificate on the wall, she heard a familiar voice behind her. "Agent Scully!" Mahoney chirped, actually looking thrilled to have gotten in line behind her. "Agent Mahoney!" Scully chimed, displaying an artificial look of joy across her face. She had always held him in thinly veiled contempt. Since she had joined the X files he had always been one of "Spooky" Mulder's biggest detractors. Not to mention one of the bureau's most renowned letches. "So how have you been doing, Dana?" He shot her a dazzling smile. Scully groaned inwardly. Watching the man communicate was like viewing a commercial for whitening toothpaste. Very fake and just as boring. Grabbing Mulder's cola she stepped away from the counter. "I'm doing just fine, Jeff; wonderful actually.Thanks for asking. Well, it was nice running into you. See you around." Scully replied hurriedly. She continued walking back to their table, where Mulder was looking on in amusement. Unphased, Mahoney continued to follow her back to the table. As they reached her chair he put a hand on her shoulder. "So, Dana..." He started, "Are you doing anything on Friday night?" Surprised, Scully shot Mulder a glance. He returned the look with a mixture of shock and another emotion that he was keeping tightly restrained. She couldn't quite interpret it. "Yes, actually, I'm..." "On stakeout with me." Mulder intejected, throwing out the very first excuse he thought of. His inner voice chided him. Mahoney gave no indication he had even heard the other man, and appeared to stare right through him as he spoke to Scully. He ran his hand down her arm, and asked suggestively, "Well, what about Saturday?" "We're having sex." Mulder stated without a bit of expression. Scully bit her lip. While part of her wanted to kick Mulder for feeling he had to answer for her, another part thought it was extremely funny. And the other part was mildly turned on. "I see." Mahoney finally seemed to take the hint, and retreated to his own table. A downtrodden, but not quite defeated man. Continued in part two. Subject: NEW!!! Against Expectations ~ SRH PG13 2/4 See notes and disclaimers in part one. *** After her fourth attempt to start a conversation, Scully was lacking topics to discuss. The fact was that Mulder was pouting. All through lunch he grunted responses to well thought out questions on her part, poked at his green steak and refused to keep eye contact for any amount of time. This was absurd. There were never awkward silences between her and Mulder. Reluctantly abandoning her cause, Scully leaned back in the uncomfortable vinyl couch outside Kersh's office. She stared at the dust coated ceiling fan. Squeak. Squeak. Squeak. Squeak. Between the fan and the incessant buzzing of the florescent lights, the silence in the room was amplified tenfold. And if that damn secretary kept eyeing her partner, she might just have to release some built up stress on the blonde piece of white trash. Tap. Tap. Tap tap tap. Tap. Scully slowly turned her head to the source of the obnoxious cadence. Tap tap. "Mulder!!!" Her sudden and unexpected reprimand caused both the blonde and Mulder to jump four feet into the air. A secret satisfied smile was easily repressed by the agitated Scully. "God, what??" "Stop. Tapping." "Fine." He held up his hands in mock surrender, and Scully shot a gelid glare that could effortlessly freeze over hell to the smug looking Secretary. Just then, Kersh finally graced the patient visitors with his presence. "Come in, Agents." Kersh said. He then addressed his secretary, "Hold my calls, this might take a while." Mulder and Scully shared a look of mutual dread. Kersh then closed the door and sat down, dragging out his movements to prolong their wait. As would be expected, he didn't offer his agents a seat. He simply held up a single finger and turned to a manilla folder. He studied it's seemingly enthralling contents for such a long period of time that Scully coughed to remind him they were in the room. Looking absurdly offended by this, Kersh let out an exasperated sigh. "I need those reports on my desk by nine tomorrow morning. That will be all." "Excuse me?!" Mulder incredulously asked. "You heard me. That will be *all*, Agents." With his indefeasible tone, the end of the pointless meeting was clearly marked. But, there was no way Mulder would leave without the last word. "Sir, with all due respect, it will be impossible to complete the reports by tomorrow morning. We just closed the case yesterday. With the threads left unresolved by the local PD..." "Scully, wait." Mulder stopped her with a wave of his hand. Scully stared blankly at him, wondering what his reaction to Kersh's demands was going to be. Mulder was many things, but speechless was not one of them. He had a response for everything; it was just a matter of how appropriate that response was. She recalled the conversation that had earlier in the cafeteria. He had mentioned this potential scenario. She really need to pay more attention to him sometimes. If she had known about this in advance she could have faked some kind of dire medical condition. She sighed inwardly. God knows she had enough practice. He didn't disappoint. "Sir, there is absolutely no way we will be able to finish those reports by nine ." Mulder said emphatically, looking straight into the Assistant Director's eyes. "And why not, Agent Mulder?" Kersh's voice dripped with disdain. His tolerance for this exchange was at the breaking point, Scully noticed with a sense of trepidation. She sure as hell hoped Mulder knew what he was doing. "Because, sir. I suffered a loss today." Scully watched in amazement as a transformation overcame her partner. Gone was the smirking, self confident man of a few moments before. His face became haggard, and before her eyes she saw his full lower lip begin to quiver. She didn't quite know how to react to this dramatic change in his demeanor. She reached over and gripped his right arm slightly for support. He gave her a small nod of thanks. Kersh looked over his desk to the obviously troubled man in front of him. "Excuse me, Agent Mulder?" Mulder's eyes shined with the wetness of emerging tears. Pulling in a deep breath in a ragged gasp, he continued. "As I awakened this morning, I was shocked and devastated to find my cat had expired in my kitchen." Mulder looked down at his lap, on the pretense of hiding his raw emotions. Scully, two feet away, was experiencing the same difficulty.Only she wasn't hiding tears, or despair. The only emotional breakdown she was trying to conceal were the gales of laughter threatening to overtake her cool, professional facade. She bit her lip and watched Mulder continue to weave his web of deceit. Kersh looked on; his face completely devoid of emotion. "I'm sorry about your cat, but you have a job to..." "Sir, if I might explain for my partner?" Scully questioned, keeping her voice level. "Why not? I would hate to take away that role which has obviously become so important to you." Kersh said, actually managing to sneer the words while keeping the same expression on his face. Scully bent foward in a stage whisper."You see, sir, Agent Mulder has gone through a lot of trauma in his life. The disappearance of his sister, the death of his father... He has lost so much throughout the years. That cat was the last remaining vestige of stability in a life wherein all other segments seemed fragmented. It was almost as if he connected with the cat on a spiritual level. They bonded on a level that was above that of a mere master-pet relationship. Psychologically, this cat was a touchstone to normalcy and a redemption of all that he had held so close. He finally had something that loved him unconditionally. Anad provided that love." "Anad, Agent Scully?" "It's Hindu." Mulder, who had been digging his nails into his thigh for the entirety of Scully's solioquy, couldn't restrain himself any longer. A sound that was the synthesis of a snort and a tortured cry escaped his lips. Seeing his reaction, Scully had to turn away. She would not let the Assistant Director, her boss, see her explode in a fit of giggling. She had to keep up some kind of image. It was getting more difficult by the moment, however. Finally she just let out a rather undignified snort. Oh well. Looking back at the man sitting across from them, she was not surprised to see him glaring at his two "wayward agents" with a look of derision that she was quite sure had never graced itself on the face of Skinner. "Cute, Agents. I'm glad you find yourselves so amusing. I should be drafting censure papers for the two of you; I have never seen two FBI agents conducting themselves in the manner that which you have become so accustomed. However, I think the need for these reports outweighs this little indiscretion. Eight o' clock tomorrow morning. If they are still not resolved, the two of you will be spending the next two weeks in suspension. Is that clear?" "Yes sir." They declared in unison. "Good." Kersh went back to the papers in front of him. They were obviously dismissed. Walking swiftly out of the office, they closed the door behind them. Both Mulder and Scully dissolved into very uncharacteristic raucous laughter. Kersh's secretary looked on with a look of mild alarm. And intense desire. God, she wanted him. "Anad?" Mulder gasped, still out of breath from their spontaneous fit of laughter. He still couldn't believe Scully had backed him up on that little escapade. Things *had* changed. Scully flashed him an enigmatic grin. "I didn't figure Kersh for someone who could quickly pick up on anagrams. After all, I do provide normalcy, don't I?" Mulder just smiled and they continued on their way. *** Continued in part three. Subject: NEW!!! Against Expectations ~ SRH PG13 3/4 Notes and disclaimers in part one. Enjoy! ********** As Mulder happily jumped into the passenger's seat of her car, Scully dumped all of the paperwork they needed onto the back-seat. Mulder had handed the enormous amount of files to Scully at their desks, but chivalrously decided to carry her jacket. It was okay, though. She wasn't one to be petty about such things, and in light of the day's bizarre events couldn't be mad at Mulder if she tried. Not since he was now in such a damned good mood. Scully paused while inserting the key into the ignition and turned to her grinning partner. "You know, Mulder. We are a couple of the only people who could pull off acting this happy after being threatened and decried by their higher-up." "Well, you know what they say Scully." After a few moments, Mulder looked out the window and seemed to have shifted his thoughts away from his comment. Realizing he wasn't planning on continuing, Scully's expression changed into that of complete confusion. "Mulder. . . What?" "What what?" "What do they say?" "Oh. I don't know. I just figured they say something and you'd know it." Seeming satisfied with his uninventive retort, the smiling Mulder repositioned himself to face forward and buckled his seat belt. He looked positively excited to be leaving. Like Queequeg always had when she took him out. The smile playing at the corners of Scully's mouth turned into a full fledged grin when she envisioned Mulder panting or sticking his head out a car window. Accepting the less than subtle cue to leave, she backed out of her space and exited the FBI's complex parking deck. Mulder and Scully had decided to work at her apartment again. It seemed like they always chose her place. For the longest time, Mulder would always sheepishly suggested working there, as if he was worried he was inviting himself over. He hadn't been demure about it in a while, but for the life of her Scully couldn't figure out why he was so reluctant to work at his place. Suddenly, Scully's thoughts were abruptly stopped by some gargantuan black entity hitting her face. Startled, she let go of the wheel and swung her arm toward the source of her alarm. She instead made contact with Mulder's jaw, and he let out a yelp of pain. Horns on all sides of the car alerted Scully that she was driving into oncoming traffic. She regained control of the wheel, and saw that the object of her distress was the biggest damn moth she had ever seen. As she continued to flail her free arm, contact was made with the bug. Once her adrenaline level finally start decreasing and the moth was out of sight, she was becoming convinced she had killed it. Her shocked partner looked positively scarred for life as he produced a pained noise deep in his throat. The humor in the situation hit her like a ton of bricks, and what started as a low chuckle quickly escalated into a hearty laugh. It seemed to be contagious, because Mulder joined in. Tears streamed down Scully's face as she tried to control her laughter, to no avail. Every time she made eye contact with Mulder she burst into a fresh roar of laughter. The situation was simply *not* that funny. Centuries later, Scully's sore stomach forced her to calm down. She hadn't laughed so hard in ages. She wiped her eyes off and pulled into her usual parking spot outside of her apartment. Taking a deep breath, the physically drained Mulder slumped down and lolled his head to one side. He hiccuped a couple times, causing Scully to grin. She reached down to unbuckle her seat belt when the Moth from hell flew out from under her seat. Shrieking, Scully dashed out of the car and collapsed against the trunk. The two partners drunkenly trudged up the stairs, impractically giggling. Scully unlocked the door to her apartment and ungracefully burst into the room, Mulder in tow. Tossing her briefcase onto the small table in her foyer, she turned and caught him midstride. With her lips. Mulder, liking this sudden interruption, let her coat fall into a pool around their feet. Deepening the already intense kiss, he lifted Scully into his arms and carried her over to her cream - colored couch, depositing her onto it with a soft thud. Collapsing next to her he pressed his weight against hers, cradling her head against the armrest as he continued his minstrations with his tongue in her all-too-receptive mouth. Sandwiching his hands between them, he feverently found the hem of Scully's blouse. Slowly pulling up the fabric, he felt her find his belt and begin to unfasten the buckle. Reaching down to quicken the process, he was stopped by the unfathomable. The phone was ringing. "Let the machine pick up." Scully murmered softly into his mouth. She planted soft kisses along Mulder's jawline as he continued where they had left off. After four rings, she heard her own voice echoing against the walls of the apartment. {{ Hi, this is Dana Scully, please leave a short message after the tone and I will return your call as soon as possible. Thank you.}} "Dana, this is Jeff. Mahoney. From work." A silence fell over the room as Jeff paused. Scully was fairly certain that she could hear crickets chirping. In Georgia. Jeff continued. "I know this is a bit unorthodox, but I can't get you out of my mind. Please give me a call. My number is 555-0517. I promise to make it worth your while. Thanks, Dana. Goodnight." Scully just continued to sit in stunned silence. This time, however, she was doing so on the floor, where Mulder had inadvertently pushed her sometime after "Dana, this is Jeff." She looked up at him. He looked somewhat like a stunned sheep, eyes wide and mouth open. She was a little alarmed when she noted it was not an unattractive look for him. He spoke. "What the hell was that?" She just returned his look and shrugged. "I have no idea, Mulder. I wasn't even aware he had access to my home telephone number. There is abs..." Mulder stood up and stalked over to the desk where Scully's portable phone resided. Angrily, he lifted the handset. 'What are you doing?!" Scully blurted hurriedly. "What do you think I'm doing?" Mulder spat venomously. "I'm going to call the son of a bitch." "You can't do that." Scully stated, now matter-of-fact in tone. "Why the hell not?" Mulder asked, anger masking his features like a shroud. "Oh." He laid the phone back on its base, and resignedly walked back to the couch. Reclaiming his seat next to Scully, he rested his head on his palms and stared unseeing at the glass table in front of him. Scully reached up and rested a hand gently on his shoulder blade. "I know it's hard. But we agreed to this months ago. It's the price we pay for having what we have together. You know that." "Well, that may be true, but it doesn't make it easier." After the events in Antartica, they had returned home; exhausted both mentally and physically by the events they had been through. Mulder wasn't sure exactly when they had made the mutual decision to take their relationship to the next level, it had just suddenly seemed like there was no way they could stay on the same level they had been on. It had began with a deeper version of what they had already had together. The touching of hands was no longer reserved for trauma; hugs began to become more frequent. Soon they were giving each other chaste kisses as they left each other's apartments. Now Mulder's toothbrush hung rather nicely next to Scully's in her bathroom. Minor changes like that. They adjusted rather well to their newfound intimacy. They stayed professional while on cases, still renting two rooms while on assignment. At work they remained essentially the same; the most they ever did to express any non -partner like feelings was to send each other the occasional highly suggestive email. All and all they were managing quite well. Until something like this happened. Scully sighed. "Mulder, I'll take care of this. He is basically harmless, and he doesn;t have to know anything about us. If worse comes to worse I'll go to resources and file a complaint. We can't take the risk of you saying anything. It will raise questions we would rather not have to answer." Mulder nodded reluctantly in agreement. They gazed at each other deeply. "So, paperwork?" Scully, grateful for the change of subject, sighed dramatically. She looked at Mulder, who still had an icredibly troubled look on his face. "I'm sorry about your cat." Scully said gently. Mulder snorted. "You know, I am pretty sure I saw defeat in Kersh's eyes this afternoon. Mingled with hatred, but defeat nonetheless." "The only look I picked up on was the one of complete abhorrence he gave us; I didn't notice any defeat . . . Although, I don't see how we *couldn't* be wearing him down by now. We're *trying*. Your run-of-the-mill rat bastard wouldn't be able to handle us when we're not. Where are the notes I took at the Wilshed interrogation? I had them right inside this folder." "How can you even tell what folder it was in? All the facts and photos are identical. With the possible exception of this brownish pile. It has more character than the others." He held the photos up with feigned enthusiasm and tossed the right folder to Scully. "Would two weeks suspension be that bad?" Mulder asked after mindlessly thumbing through the files he had to write a report on. When he wasn't granted a response he leered at her. "I could think of a couple things that might keep life eventful for two weeks." Although Scully refused to give Mulder any satisfaction by smiling, her eyes betrayed her amusement. "Just work, Mulder. This is exactly what they want. What Kersh wants; for us to screw up and treat these cases like the jokes they are. We're better than that. I suspect any excuse to get rid of us will do, and after today's incident we better play it straight for a while. This might be an all nighter as it is, so *get* *started*." With the sense of finality Scully's statement provided, Mulder silently agreed and turned back to his manure piles. Minutes slowly became hours, and after two pots of coffee and more time spent on breaks than work, Mulder had finally become productive. Of course, by this time Scully had finished her half pile (which was the significantly larger half to begin with) and decided to help Mulder complete his own. He just had such a hard time with cases that didn't interest him. As the last few lines of the report were being completed, a random chuckle threw off Scully's concentration. She was not surprised to find her partner, the same partner that insisted having the TV on helped him concentrate, engrossed in a silent rerun of Tom and Jerry. Resolving not to waste time questioning him, Scully carelessly finished off the needed material and hurriedly placed everything out of sight. Having done this, she buried her head in Mulder's chest and groaned with exhaustion. *** Continued in part four. Subject: NEW!! Against Expectations ~ SRH PG13 4/4 Notes and disclaimers in part one. Almost there! **** Resolving not to waste time questioning him, Scully carelessly finished off the needed material and hurriedly placed everything out of sight. Having done this, she buried her head in Mulder's chest and groaned with exhaustion. She felt Mulder's fingers run lightly through her hair, and she relaxed against him so that she might fully enjoy the moment. It was a good thing she did, for the *moment* came to an end as Mulder quite literally guffawed into her ear. "Damn, you gotta love that Jerry, Scully." Wiping a little spittle from the side of her face, Scully rose up with a sigh and situated herself on the couch next to him. She tried to look interested, even amused as she stared blankly at the television screen. She was pretty sure she had seen this episode before. Of course, you could say that about any Tom and Jerry cartoon. They all had the same plot. Tom chases Jerry. Jerry outwits Tom. Tom gets whacked on the head; leaving a swelling that came to a point approximately two feet above his skull. "My God, Scully. It's...it's...Spender!" Scully snorted. She would have found his comment even funnier if she hadn't just had the exact same thought. He was rather pinheaded. They continued to watch in silence; the stillness broken only by some bursts of intermittant laughter from Mulder. Scully leaned back against him gently, resting her head on his shoulder. She felt herself slowly fade away from wakefulness as Mulder took the opportunity to speak. Of course. "I know we've already discussed the Wilma versus Betty argument, but what cartoon character do you most liken yourself to?" Mulder asked, his eyes never leaving the screen. Tom had just run into the wall for what had to be the thirtieth collision that evening, but yet Mulder still seemed just as amused as he was the first time. Mulder, with his layered past and Oxford education, was but only a man. "Well," Scully started, wracking her memory for repressed animation parallels. "I guess I would have to say Velma." "Velma?! From Scooby Doo?" Mulder questioned her incredulously. Leave it to Scully to pick what he considered *the* most boring cartoon character in television history. He just shook his head in wonder and waited for her to continue. "Why not Velma?" Scully queried defensively. "Because." "Ok, Mulder. Because why?" She asked with a hint of resignation in her voice. "I can see the obvious similarities, of course. The red hair. The obsession with science. But I just figured you for someone more heroic. Like Mighty Mouse." He snickered, "Besides, Velma was probably the most sexually repressed animated person ever. Yogi probably got more action in the off hours than she did." "Mulder, Velma was smart and focused. She was the voice of reason in that cartoon. If it wasn't for her, the others would have gone off on their little "expeditions" by themselves. Ended up as one big, proverbial Scooby - snack, so to speak. She was the one responsible for solving most of the mysteries. Not that bimbo Daphne. And certainly not Shaggy. The dog was more intelligent than he was. But did she get any credit? No. Yet another female who was a victim of the system. I admired her strength and knowledge. She was the epitome of what I have always strived for. What about you, Mulder? What artistic rendering have you always associated with?" Mulder sat, pensive. "I guess Shaggy is out of the question then, huh?" Scully sat back with a groan. "No, seriously. I always thought Shaggy was devoted to learning the truth behind those mysteries. Sure, he was a taco short of a combination platter at times, but he never gave up. Week after week he pursued the ghosts and goblins. I will admit that he was a bit of a pansy, but he always went back. Always returned to fight the spooky fight." Scully lifted an eyebrow. "I sense that there is someone else, Mulder." Mulder looked at her with a bit of apprehension. "Ok. Promise you won't laugh." " If I didn't laugh at you for the Shaggy connection, I think you're safe." Ignoring the bemused expression on her face, he continued. " Kenny. From South Park. I admire the little tyke. Despite his speech impediment and the fact that he dies daily, he always prevails. He won't be defeated. He comes back to be shot down again, but always comes back. That's how I would like to think of myself. Someone who isn't afraid to lose a few battles in order that he may ultimately win. Triumph over adversity in spite of the odds. Plus, I admire his tastes in attire. That boy knows how to dress." Scully gave him a skeptical smile. "I see." She enjoyed these conversations of theirs. They were what made she and Mulder different than any other relationship she had ever had. Of course, they had six years to create their unique dichotomy. She leaned foward and rested her hand on Mulder's thigh. "So, now what?" She questioned. "I'm not quite ready to fall asleep yet. Entirely too much coffee, I'd say." Mulder had the self restraint to at least look as though he were seriously contemplating her question for a moment. "Well, we could..." Mulder let his words trail off with a leer. "Tempting, but no. I do want to get *some* sleep tonight. Or what's left of it, anyways." She picked up the remote control and began scanning the channels."How do you find anything to watch at this time of night, Mulder? There is just infomercial, after infomercial, after infomercial..." She sighed. She stopped on one channel where an overzealous, absurdly hairy man was touting the virtues of some hideously tacky bean-filled bears. Why anyone would pay two hundred dollars for something that cost some poor kids from Thailand forty-five cents to make was above her. She continued to flip the stations until she came to CNN. She leaned back against Mulder's warmth and closed her eyes. She listened distractedly to the comments of the analysts who were discussing the latest in the Clinton debacle. There was nothing like the pat sound bites of politicians to cure a bout of insomnia. She drifted off into her own thoughts and lapsed into light sleep. 30 minutes later. Mulder and Scully lay spooned together on the couch, Mulder's arms wrapped protectively around her waist. Scully's eyes fluttered open as she heard the urgent tones of the Headline News broadcast announce a breaking story. Letting her eyes adjust to the bright rays of the television, she squinted at the practiced somber face of the anchor. Expecting news of a plane crash or another military threat on Iraq she looked on, interest piqued. Washington DC law enforcement is reeling after the early morning arrests at the Hoover building of three FBI agents. Officials say they apprehended the Federal officers after they were alerted to an intradepartmental memo that contained plans for the death of two coworkers, whose names will not be released. The memo contained details of how the murders would be committed in Alexandria, at the home of one of the potential victims... Mulder's eyes flew open as his partner elbowed him squarely in his midsection. "Scully!" He yelped groggily, "What the hell?" "Shut up and listen to this!" She stammered, eyes never leaving the screen. The stone faced reporter continued: ...where the suspects were later apprehended. No news on the motivations for the planned attack, but two of the arrested agents seemed to be following orders for this man: Mulder and Scully, who had previously been staring at the newscast with rapt attention, felt their breath leave them as they now looked into the eyes of the man in the picture. They were full of hatred, of criminal intent. They were eyes that they had seen before. The eyes belonged to Kersh. "Oh. My. God. " Scully found her voice. Mulder sat beside her, not moving. Choosing not to break the silence that had enveloped the room, they listened again to the droning voice of the on-scene reporter. The video cut to the site of the arrest; what appeared to be a quiet residential street in Alexandria. Yellow police tape was strung across the red brick facade of a building. Actually, it wasn't just any building. It was Mulder's building. Scully looked over to him to get his reaction to the news they were absorbing. He met her eyes briefly, but long enough to see that he was floored by what he was witnessing. ... Federal officials refused to comment on the matter, but CNN is able to bring you the reactions of the apprehended agents. The camera cut to three shadowy figures being led around the corner of the building by more shadowy figures that Mulder and Scully were able to identify as police officers. It was until they came under the brightness of the portable lights used by the press that they were able to make out just *who* the three figures were. Spender was in the front, being restrained by a man who was twice his size. Very agitated, he fought the officer every step of the way. The man in uniform looked down at Spender with amusement as he led him to an awaiting car. Giving him a kick in the back of the heels for good measure, Spender spun around angrily. "Dad, I'll see you in Hell!!" With that, he was pushed into the car and was driven away; the only part of him that remained visible was his Brillo-esque hair. The scene shifted to the next prisoner, a thin figure with shoulder length black hair. Scully felt Mulder gasp beside her as he recognized the person being led across the lawn. Diana's eyes were blazing as a second officer led her rougly toward another unmarked car. She made no comment until she was in direct view of the camera recording the bedlam. Looking into the lens, she threw her head back and laughed an insane, bitter laugh. "It could have been so great between us, Fox, but I guess we'll never know. I hope you're happy with that skeptical bi..." The camera panned back as she was thrust in the car, narrowly missing the roof with her head. Kersh was being led in the back, trying to shield his face with a handcuffed arm. Realizing the futileness of such an action, he merely looked down at his feet, as if he were measuring his steps with his eyes. He started to rock rythmically back and forth on his feet, appearing to drift into a trance. He entered the car sedately, and the officers seemed relieved at his relaxed behavior. The anchor in the studio appeared onscreen once again. The man you saw being led into the car a moment ago has been indentified as Assistant Director Raymond Kersh. He also declined to comment on the situation, although he could be heard muttering the word 'Anad' repeatedly. As soon as more information becomes available on the meaning of the term and it's relevance to the case we will make it available to our viewers. Now in other news... Scully and Mulder sat side by side, gazing at the screen in stunned silence. There was so much to comprehend. Their boss and colleagues have plotted their deaths, and they had intended to kill Mulder at his home just two hours ago. They joined hands tightly as they realized what the ramifications would have been if their relationship hadn't been such a closely guarded secret. Or if they had never come together in the first place. Scully felt light headed from the thoughts racing in her head. She looked back at Mulder to see how he was taking the news. He looked into her eyes solemnly. "So, breakfast?" "Ok. I am getting a little hungry, I guess." Mulder nodded and picked up their coats off the rack near her door. "Maybe that *was* defeat." ******* Author's Notes: If you have made it this far, we would like to place a little gold star on your forehead. As we're sure you might have noticed, this story was a little different than your traditional fare; it was the product of a writing experiment that Andi and myself conducted. It was very scientific, actually, consisting of writing each other into the biggest hole we could create, and having to write ourselves out of it without benefit of an outline. The storyline (or lack thereof) stemmed from the notion that maybe Mulder and Scully are *already* involved, and that we just don't get to see what goes on behind the scenes. Not a new notion, we realize, but it is seemingly one fanfic plotline that is relatively untapped. Maybe that's for a reason. As far as the arrests of Fowley, Kersh and Spender - We were going to simply kill them, but decided that there was no way to do it while truly serving them justice. It deserves its own story. Hope you enjoyed our little tale; if you loved it, despised it or are just really lonely, drop us a line at: UberScully@aol.com UberSpooky@aol.com